It is literally insane how fast time flies when you have a.) a newborn and b.) kids in general. I remember people telling us that when we first had Gavin and it is probably the most truthful thing I know.
I am going to apologize in advance for this post as I have a feeling it might get a little emotional, as I am still extremely hormonal and on top of that I found some pictures of my mother-in-law Kathy tonight (and I have been dreaming about her like crazy the past three nights). So, I am already teary and then I am going to talk about my kids, so, let's just be real...I'm a bit of a hot mess tonight, haha!
Tonight, I was sorting through some gifts that came in the mail today, going through what I wanted to put in the laundry and now, and what could wait. I remember when my niece Alma was about to be born and Kathy and I were oggling over all the cute girly things that my sister-in-law had started to collect. Kathy and I gushed, hoping that our baby would be a girl too so that her and I could also have fun ooing and awing over all the pink and frilly things. So when I was sorting through our little girl's gifts tonight I was reminded of that and it just made me realize how much it just sucks that she isn't here.
[Note: I just got up to go get a tissue from our living room, because obviously I am a mushy mess, and Celine Dion's, "My Heart Will Go On," was playing on my Sirius Radio. You can't even make that shit up.]
When Kjerstin was born, Ryan and I both cried because we wanted Kathy to be there so bad, and we missed her so much. It was such a bittersweet moment. I guess, long story short, is that Kathy was the BEST Gramma ever and it breaks my heart into a million pieces that Kjerstin will never meet her and that Gavin will likely not remember how much fun they had playing together. Life just doesn't make sense sometimes and it feels so unfair. When Kathy died, life was so crazy. We had just moved, it was Christmas Eve, we were still spinning from the transition out of the military, I was 9 months pregnant and we were doing our best to prepare ourselves to add another child into our family. The world was spinning too fast to even comprehend what was going on around us. Well, it is still spinning, but I feel like it has slowed down enough to feel all the emotions I was unable to feel at the time of her passing. So, on top of the elation I am feeling to have my baby girl sleeping in my arms, my heart is also hurting from the grief of losing such a special, wonderful, life-changing woman in my life.
So, I am out of tissues, and I am not going to chance walking out there to see what song is playing now, so let's move along to some happy baby-loving things. Like, soft new-smelling baby hair. Soft pink kissable baby cheeks and sweet little baby squeaks while they sleep. <3
At two weeks old, Kjerstin is still such a mellow baby! I literally knock on wood because she is just that good! She sleeps SO much more than Gavin did. She is however, a little confused on day and night and is awake more at night that she is during the day. We will work on this. She is a noisy little thing! She growls a lot and is a loud breather, haha! She keeps Ryan up a lot (luckily I am usually tired enough to ignore the loud breathing, in fact it comforts me a little because I can hear her breathing and I don't have to worry about her not breathing).
Ryan and I both noticed that she had a white buildup, looks kind of like milk, on her tongue. I had read about Thrush in one of the baby books I have and vaguely rememebered its description as being something to do with a white buildup inside the mouths of babies. I did a quick google image search and was pretty convinced that Kjerstin had a little bit of a case of it, and Ryan agreed. It is basically a type of yeast infection that is very common in babies, they can get it in their mouths and as a diaper rash. She kind of had both. I read that it usually clears up on it's own in a week or two. At week two, it was still there so I went in to get her on a prescription before it got any worse. So we are giving her drops in her mouth for the next week. Luckily it doesn't seem to bother her too much, we just noticed she kind of gags every once in a while and we think it is likely related to the thrush build up on her tongue. Hopefully it clears up fast!
Gavin does so well with her! He calls her his baby (he is going through a "mine" stage right now) and gets really excited when she opens her eyes, "Baby is awake!" he says. Every once in a while he asks to hold her and you can tell he takes it very seriously. He has also asked her to play with him a couple of times, which is adorable even though he doesn't realize she isn't quite big enough yet. Gavin is just the sweetest and cutest little boy. Every night, Ryan and I lay in bed and talk about how cute he is and how smart he has become. He is just like Ryan, and looks and acts like him more and more every day. Today, he went to "work" with Daddy and Papa Tractor. They drove down to Eltopia to pick up a piece of machinery that Jay bought at an auction this past weekend. Gavin was ecstatic to be able to go. Jay asked if he could come and so even though he was napping, I knew he would want to go. I went in and woke him up and asked him if he wanted to go and through his sleep he said, "Yeah.....yes!" and then told me he had to get his boots on. All while his eyes were closed. Haha!
I am healing up pretty well! I have found out that what causes the most pain/discomfort is holding or carrying things for any longer than a few minutes. Even something as light as the baby puts quite a bit of pressure on my stitches. I am getting very close to feeling back to normal, it is kind of at that frustrating point where you want to do everything you used to but then after while you want to kick yourself for not taking it a little easier.
Ryan is doing good as well, he has been prepping tractors and trucks for the spring work that is coming. He has also been busy with Jay doing a little bit of reorganization for our businesses. Ryan and I started our own business, called Ryan and Kelsey Scrupps Agriculture, Inc. It's been a little bit of a whirlwind for us as we weren't really prepared to start up so soon, however sometimes things do not always work out how you envisioned them. Ryan has been such an amazing Daddy and help me to as well. He entertains Gavin a lot so that I can rest and care for the baby. He also takes the dreaded 5am feeding with Kjerstin most mornings, which I am EXTREMELY grateful for. I am not a morning person, in any way, shape or form. He is the best :)
I will be getting birth announcements out in the mail soon also, they should get to my house tomorrow and then depending on how fast I can address them, I am hoping by the end of the week to mail them out. I will also post more pictures later, but our internet is so slow, it is faster to get the photos I want to upload onto my phone and upload them using the cellphone 4g network in comparison to our insanely slow internet.
